Forever Loved (Forever Lost Book 2) Page 9

  “Morning, Mr. Solomon. You’re here early, or did you pull an all-nighter?” she asked, smiling up at him sweetly.

  “Just heading home now. Are you on an early shift?” Leo replied in an attempt to remain courteous, while all he wanted was to get to Cassie. He wanted to make a start on rebuilding their relationship, even if it meant unearthing some of the things he’d tried so hard to keep buried.

  “Yep,” she said, and Leo thought she seemed awfully bubbly for so close to dawn. “I’m going out tonight so switched shifts. My new boyfriend is taking me to see a play, it’s all very exciting.” Leo really didn’t care. He forced a smile and carried on his way, heading out into the cool morning air to retrieve his car from his private spot by the staff entrance.

  Leo cursed under his breath when he went into Cassie’s apartment and found the alarm turned off. Even when she was inside, she had been told she should activate it so Roger would be alerted if anyone broke in. His exasperation was soon forced aside when he spotted Roger’s jacket hanging over the back of the sofa. He wasn’t asleep on it, in fact he was nowhere to be seen, and Leo’s stomach immediately lurched.

  No way. She wouldn’t. They wouldn’t. His heart was in his mouth, and Leo tried to prepare himself for the worst. If he found the man he’d trusted not to extort his closeness with her in bed with Cassie, there would be no holding back. He knew he’d kill him.

  When he found Roger fast asleep, curled into a ball on the hallway floor, Leo was beyond relieved. He knew he never wanted to feel like that ever again—like she might want to cheat on him, or like he’d given her a reason to.

  “Rog.” He shook him awake gently. “Are you down there acting as a protective friend or a guard dog? I need to know if you’re here to keep my girl company or if you’re gonna try and stop me getting in there and sorting my shit out.” There was no need or time for small talk or pleasantries. He was ready to throw down if necessary, but it wasn’t what he wanted.

  “Just here to keep an eye on her, mate. Not to fight you,” Roger groaned in response, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

  “Good, then let me see you out.” Leo helped him up, thanked him, and then did just that.

  ***

  Cassie stirred and groaned. Her stomach was rumbling—the first signal that her hangover was already creeping in—and she peeled open her eyes. Only eight o’clock? Not bad considering how late she’d gone to sleep. After she stretched and was rubbing her eyes roughly to clear the sleep away, a small cough alerted her to the presence of another person in her bedroom. Cassie sprang upright and looked down at the man watching her from the armchair across the room. Leo looked utterly exhausted. If he’d slept at all it couldn’t have been much. Two nights of unbearable distance between them had taken an incredible toll, and Cassie immediately softened, rather than still being angry with him.

  “Hey,” was all she managed.

  “I wasn’t calling you a whore.” His words caught her completely off guard, but she was glad he was there and seemingly ready to open up at long last. Cassie nodded, wanting him to know she’d heard him, but that she needed to hear more. “I keep having awful, vivid dreams. Like I’m being forced to relive the past. I know you’ve seen and heard me, and I’m sorry for what I said, but it wasn’t to you.” Leo let out a sigh and leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees while his head hung low on his shoulders.

  Cassie forced herself to stay put. She wanted to go to him, to soothe his pain, but knew he needed to keep going. They were getting somewhere at last, so she wasn’t about to interrupt him now that he was finally offloading about his past. “There was a whore who looked like you. I convinced myself it was okay that I used her as practice because you were so fragile, and because I was such a sexual predator. Even after you were taken, I’m ashamed to say that I still booked her from time to time. With her, I somehow felt close to you, like you were still there instead of gone—snatched away and held prisoner while I festered behind like some kind of zombie.”

  Her heart was pounding in her chest. Victor had mentioned a whore that looked like Cassie once, in his usual taunting way, but she’d never known if he’d been telling her the truth—until now. She wasn’t sure whether she wanted to cry, cuddle him, or throw something.

  Leo started talking again before she could react, cutting off her inner turmoil, and Cassie stared at her hands as his words washed over her. “After you’d gone, I was a mess, and whenever I fucked her I was far from gentle. That’s what you heard. I was screaming those words at her, hating her for being with me when you weren’t, and I hated myself for touching her. I hated myself for needing her. I still do.”

  “You’re a douchebag, Leonardo Solomon,” she told him as she looked back up. Cassie’s words were said with half-hearted seriousness. Overall, she was genuinely glad to hear the truth at long last. He didn’t object. In fact, Leo simply peered over at her, and he looked old all of a sudden, as though just that tiny snippet of honesty had taken a lot out of him. “I’m not the damsel in distress anymore, so stop treating me like I’m gonna fall apart with just a small bit of your truth. This closed-off attitude needs to stop, otherwise it’ll break us. Just talk to me, tell me how you feel and what’s eating you, okay?”

  “Okay,” Leo conceded, and he climbed up out of the chair with slow movements that confirmed to her how tired he must be. Leo lay down on the bed next to her, and Cassie slid into his strong arms. She couldn’t bring herself to be mad at him any longer. It just wasn’t in her to punish his behavior when she knew he was struggling to control all of those emotions bubbling under his cool, hard exterior.

  “When are you going to learn that I’m right all the time? Just do as you’re told and all of this will be so much easier,” she teased, and she loved the gruff laugh he afforded her.

  “Oh dear, love. You really are with the wrong man,” he mumbled. It seemed to take every last bit of energy he had to peel off his clothes and slide under the covers, but he did it, and then pulled her back into his arms. Cassie let herself melt into his embrace and breathed Leo in. She’d missed him the night before. The distance had still been torturous, and she never wanted to go through that with him ever again.

  When she felt Leo thrashing beside her a few hours later, Cassie forced herself awake and tried to leave his strong embrace. This was usually her cue to dive out of bed and watch as whatever nightmare plaguing him completed its torment before eventually releasing him. This time though, Leo somehow sensed her retreat and stopped her, grabbing Cassie and pulling her into him. They’d been spooning, her being the little one, and now his thickly muscled arms were wrapped around her along with his legs. She was cocooned in him. Her immediate instinct was to panic, but that was short-lived when soft words filtered through from his subconscious mind and filled the silence.

  “How can she still be so goddam beautiful? Look at her, so broken and scared, yet radiant and gorgeous. She’s submissive to him, and he’s owning her, but she wants him to.” A sob escaped him and he held Cassie tighter. “She hates you, Leo. Keep it together. Don’t let Victor see how much you care,” he was murmuring in her ear. “Don’t let him know it’s affecting you. Don’t show him how much you miss her, how much you love her. Hold on, Cassie. I’ll save you, but you just have to hold on.”

  “Leo, I’m here. I’m safe now,” she whispered through ragged breaths while he pinned her to the bed. Strangely, he wasn’t hurting her. If anything, his hold was strangely delicate and protective. Leo was so strong that his grip was utterly unyielding, but she liked it.

  Cassie had known for a long time that she was attracted to danger. She’d felt it right from the moment she’d first met Leo in his mansion. He’d been intimidating and scary, but she’d been drawn to that fire inside of him. She’d also known just how easily he could crush her and ruin her if he chose to. According to her best friend, Hanna, he’d done exactly that time and time again to his previous conquests, but she’d still wanted him regardless. Cassie ha
d enjoyed the chase. When she’d finally caved, she also loved the feeling of dominating herself in order to be submissive to him. It was the ultimate empowering feeling to submit to Leo, rather than feeling weak and possessed out of self-preservation like she’d had to with Victor.

  With those memories flaring in her gut, she realized she’d always been that way. Cassie had let her world be ruled by the men in it for all of her adult life, and even now she was still the same. There was no fighting it, if anything she knew she wanted more. Being taken care of and led was freeing, and at least this time she’d given herself to her dominator willingly. In fact, she’d outright begged Leo to own her the night he’d come back into her life and to her apartment after the theater’s opening performance.

  A wave of pleasure swept through Cassie, and she felt the last bit of shielding numbness she’d carried for so long subside. It was replaced by sheer euphoria, and when she felt the tip of his rock-hard cock press into her from behind, she wanted it to find its home. Cassie arched back into him, but he wasn’t at the right angle to accept the invitation. “Leo,” she sighed, desperately wanting him to wake up and take her.

  Still pressing into her from behind, he grabbed her arms at the elbow and pulled them behind her back, pushing her shoulder blades together. Cassie’s face and chest were pressed harder into the mattress, while her lower half was still to the side, but she didn’t fight.

  “Do you want to be free? Do it, Cassie,” he mumbled, and his voice caught in his throat. She suddenly knew exactly what he was dreaming of. It had to be the moment when she’d killed Victor right in front of him. Leo had held her oppressor in the same way he was holding her now, and she’d taken the chance she needed to be free of him at last. Cassie knew it was wrong to find satisfaction in that moment of sheer instinct and self-defense, but there was no denying it.

  The memory was overwhelming her waking thought, just like it was haunting Leo’s dream. But instead of feeling frightened, Cassie felt as though she might burst into flames if he didn’t help her reach the explosive climax already building in her core.

  She needed Leo to take her and give her some pleasure to associate with that memory forcing itself back to life between them. The transition had already begun, and she was no longer ashamed to admit that deep within lay a truth she’d never spoken aloud before—she’d enjoyed killing Victor.

  Cassie summoned her strength and twisted in Leo’s grasp. She turned fully onto her belly, her hips moving in line with the rest of her body, and she felt him move with her. This time his hardness found its home, and like two pieces of a delicious puzzle, they slotted together. Her mind was alive with the memory of the moment she’d murdered her husband with his own knife, and she was well aware how soaked she was between her thighs. Cassie cried out when Leo slammed into her from behind and delivered her an almost instantaneous orgasm.

  “Leo!” she screamed, and that was when his lips pressed against her shoulder tenderly. He kissed and nipped at her, having let go of her arms, but he kept his fingers entwined with hers at her sides. Leo was awake, Cassie could tell, but he didn’t seem interested in fighting this strange urge either. He pushed her thighs closed and continued thrusting inside of her, not needing to ask if she wanted more.

  After Cassie came again, he pulled out and flipped her onto her back. He tore open her thighs and was back inside in an instant. Leo then he covered every inch of her body with his own. Their lips were fused, and their chests and stomachs felt glued together, while Cassie hooked her legs around his waist. Their lovemaking was frantic, chaotic, and hurried, but also bursting with passion and adoration.

  When Leo finished claiming her, she peered up into his eyes, and enjoyed the surprised look in them.

  “I’m sorry, I…” He stopped when she grinned up at him knowingly. “My dream, it felt so real, but totally fucked up.”

  “I know what you were dreaming about, Leo,” she teased, grinding up against the still hard cock between her legs. “Did you enjoy watching Victor fuck me that night? You were sat so still, and at the time I believed you hated me for having left you. I thought you were there to watch out of some sick satisfaction. Like you wanted to see him own me.”

  A low growl started from somewhere deep within Leo’s chest, and Cassie placed her hand over his heart. It was pounding hard. “But now I know it wasn’t that. You loved me even then, and you gave up everything to save me.”

  Cassie began moving against him from below; gyrating to help push him in and out of her soaking cleft while Leo remained pressed against her, holding himself over Cassie using his powerful arms. He stayed silent, but she felt his eyes on her, watching her grind on him. She arched up even higher on the bed. Cassie rolled her hips, so fluid and sensuous against his hard muscles, building her climax while he did nothing but let her. “Does it make you hard thinking of me murdering him? Because it makes me wet, Leo. It makes me so desperate to be fucked hard…”

  Her words were cut short when Leo silenced her with a forceful kiss. In a flash, her ankles were in his hands, being pressed up into the air by her head. With her body curled up and open to him, her voracious lover stopped her writhing by pounding her hard.

  Leo took himself almost all the way out, before plummeting back inside and locking onto her g-spot with the head of his hard-on. She was utterly at his command, and didn’t fight the loud groans and cries her body emitted in response to his epic thrusts.

  He was relentless. “Stop, baby. Stop,” she pleaded when her next explosive orgasm ripped through her, but Leo refused. He released her ankles and drew her legs back down to his hips, where he slowed his pursuit to a gentle stroke.

  “You always told me not to stop, even when you asked me to.” His sultry voice filled her ears. “But I can’t ever stop, don’t you understand, Cassie? I’ll never stop loving you.” Leo showed her by making love to her. Slow and deep, he commanded each of her senses before he eventually stilled and groaned as he came. He then wrapped her in his arms and continued to hold on tight for as long as she let him.

  They dozed together for a while, but Cassie’s hangover came back with a vengeance and she had to give into the hunger growling in her belly. She climbed up and pulled on a shirt, and could feel herself bouncing on the balls of her feet as she headed through the apartment. Finally, they were getting somewhere. Yes, they might both be messed up victims that were potential ticking time bombs of explosive and destructive behavior, but Cassie also felt like they were healing each other with every day that passed. Bit by bit they were recovering, and that was good enough for her.

  She was making crumpets and coffee when she felt him behind her. Leo had sneaked in so silently that she nearly jumped, but her body still yearned for his touch, and instead Cassie trembled in sweet remembrance of their day spent in bed. He planted gentle kisses on her shoulders and brought his hands down her arms before he settled them around her slim waist.

  “If anyone knew the fucked up things we said and did earlier, I doubt they’d speak to us again,” he teased, and she had to laugh. Leo continued kissing her neck and back, but she wasn’t hungry for him again, not yet. Cassie still needed answers.

  “It’s a good thing we can be fucked up together in private then, isn’t it?” she replied, turning to face him, a large bite of buttered crumpet still in her mouth. “Tell me about your nightmares, Leo. I need you to be honest with me about what haunts you, not bottle it up.”

  He closed the gap and pulled her to him. “It wasn’t a nightmare this time, love. Usually it’s memories replaying in my mind, mostly the bad, but this time it was a good one.”

  “Hmm, I remember you like to watch.” Her eyebrow shot up, and Cassie let him see she was grinning. “Even that night?”

  “Yep.” Leo took a bite out of her makeshift meal. “It took everything I had to ignore you at my party, and when you guys disappeared I was worried you’d left. I needed Victor to stick around long enough for the Feds to get what they needed, so I went in s
earch of you both.”

  “And you found us in the bedroom,” Cassie murmured, finishing his sentence, and Leo nodded.

  “I had to play it cool, when all I wanted to do was kill him. But then, you were such a treat to watch. Seeing him fuck you turned me inside out, but I had to make him believe I didn’t care. You helped keep my cover without even realizing it.”

  “I believed it,” she murmured, remembering how miserable she’d been made to feel after Leo had pointedly ignored her presence at his party after everything that’d happened.

  “Exactly, and you made him believe. He was unarmed and so arrogant, totally convinced that he’d won.” Leo ground his renewed hard-on into her thigh. “Until you took that knife of his and killed him, of course.” He was driving her crazy, and she knew if they weren’t careful they’d end up back in bed before she could finish her food, let alone her questioning.

  Cassie stepped away, shaking her head. “You aren’t gonna distract me that easily, Solomon,” she informed him with a smile. “I want more, tell me about your dream the other night. I need to know more about that whore.” She wasn’t going to back down this time, and Leo seemed to sense it. He took a deep breath and made himself a cup of coffee while staring out the window, seemingly gathering his thoughts.

  “She was just a means for release at first. I used her only when absolutely necessary, and I am truly sorry for it, Cassie.” She believed him, and stepped close behind her man. Cassie slid a supportive hand up his back and rubbed between his shoulders, needing Leo to know she was still there for him, and was strong enough to hear his story. “When I’d healed up and was trying to convince myself I was over you, I started using drugs—you know that.” Cassie hummed in affirmation, although she hated the thought of him self-medicating. “Our exploits were anywhere from gentle to harsh, and then we progressed to downright dangerous.”

  “Like how?” she asked, not taking her hand from his shoulder.